Just Desserts
by Random Guise
Summary: Back in the 1950's the government captured a space menace and put it safely into a deep freeze. What will they do over 50 years later when that safety is threatened? A short one shot based on the movie "The Blob". I don't own these characters, but I have made jam that looked like this.


Just Desserts

"General, we have a problem."

Colonel Stone addressed his superior in an urgent tone that matched his abrupt appearance at the card game going on in the officer's mess. Stone was the type that had never been there to play poker before, wasn't there to play now, and probably would never do so while he was alive. The fact that he was there at all spoke volumes about how important he perceived the situation to be.

General Hapshield tossed his cards down on the table. "Looks like I get to fold one round early" he said as he stood up. "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure even though you've cleaned out my wallet tonight. Let's go Stone."

Both men left the mess quickly and started walking across the base. "We just received a communique from the Brain." The Brain was an unofficial name for the think tank that the armed forces used for research and development planning. Mostly consisting of scientists and strategists, there output usually consisted of columns of data, charts and excruciatingly long summaries that used a lot of words like "extrapolated", "potential" and "latent". Not to mention timelines that often stretched into decades. To receive something unannounced was almost unprecedented.

The men entered the main operations building and went straight to the General's office. Closing the door behind them, the General sat behind his desk and took up the message to read it. After several minutes he put down the paper and took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "Stone, do you realize what we have here?"

"No sir. I did scan the communique but it contained information I'm not familiar with."

"No wonder; most of the military don't, and those that were directly involved are long out of the service." The general leaned back in his chair and motioned Stone to sit as well. "We're talking about something that happened nearly 60 years ago."

"Roswell sir?"

"No Stone, but something that did come from space. There was...a landing near a small town in Pennsylvania. What seemed like a large meteorite held a small amorphous creature that consumed living animals, including humans. The more people it ate, the larger it grew. It was discovered by accident that cold repelled the creature, which was nicknamed 'The Blob'. Using fire extinguishers the townspeople froze the creature long enough for the air force to fly in and transport it to a location deep in the arctic where it has remained ever since."

"I've never heard anything about the incident before. They used chemical...oh wait...back then it would have been CO2 which is cold. It's for real?" Stone was starting to show some concern.

"Yes, we've managed to cover it up pretty well. And with the passage of time what few people hear of it tend to put it in the same category as the 'War of the Worlds' broadcast. I've seen some old footage that was taken at the time, but it's only shown on a need to know basis and I only saw it because I'm in charge of some special projects."

"That explains the language about concerns of possible global warming trends. I take it they're worried that it might warm enough to become a danger again?" As the pieces fell together Stone was getting the picture.

"Obviously. We don't know for sure just how cold it has to be to keep that thing safe; for all we know we could be creeping up on the temperature threshold that will thaw it out and start the threat all over again. Better to be safe than sorry. And if word of this gets out there will be chaos; the population of the earth is nearly three times what it was back then" the general said.

"But how can we destroy it? If we shatter it the pieces would just form dozens or hundreds of new creatures to start over again. And we can't nuke it. Any nerve gas or poisons would have to blanket the area and cause their own disasters. It's too large to put into a rocket and launch into the sun. Any idea on what to do?"

"Give me a few minutes to think." The general closed his eyes; the tapping of his fingers together while he thought proved that he wasn't sleeping. After a while he opened his eyes again and sat up in his chair.

"Okay, I think I have an idea. Arrange for a Chinook to pick up our package and deliver it to these coordinates." He scribbled some numbers on a piece of paper and handed them to the colonel. "Also arrange to get something to deliver a cold surprise to our friend if my idea doesn't work. Maybe liquid nitrogen will do; talk to the science boys and see what you can get fast, then coordinate with the transport. We mobilize in five days."

...

Five days later General Hapshield and Colonel Stone were on the helicopter transporting the frozen Blob to the coordinates, the middle of the salt flats of Utah. "We gave it an extra shot of cold before the trip" explained Stone "just to make sure it doesn't thaw during transport. It looks like the coordinates are near that building over there." He pointed to a large prefab hut that was sitting in the middle of the flats.

"That's exactly where it is" agreed Hapshield. "Put it down about 50 feet from the hut, then wait. At the first sign of movement I want this bird out of here for 30 minutes. It's either going to work or fail in that amount of time."

The Chinook arrived at the location and lowered the Blob down to a soft landing on the salt. It gained altitude and waited until an observer reported movement from the creature. "Scramble!" the general ordered and the helicopter pitched and sped off away from the site. After only a few minutes a horrible screeching started that penetrated even into the interior of the helicopter and through the headsets. Crew and passengers gritted their teeth as the nerve-wracking sound diminished with distance until it could no longer be heard. After 15 minutes the general ordered the helicopter to turn around and head back.

Upon arriving back at the hut no sign of the Blob could be seen. Six people stood outside with their arms held high in victory as they milled around the hut.

"It looks like it worked General!" exclaimed Stone. "But who are those people down there? They don't look quite right."

"They look great to me" said the general with a deep sigh of relief. "I thought the best plan was to use the Blob's own attack against it. I can't tell who is who from here, but those are six of the top competitive eaters in the world right now. Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, Patrick "Deep Dish" Bertoletti, Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi, Tim "Eater X" Janus, "Humble" Bob Shoudt and Sonya "Black Widow" Thomas. If they look a little different right now it's because their stomachs are a distended from being stuffed full of Blob."

The chopper set down on the flats near the building as all inside the aircraft were visibly relieved. As the rotors spun down, the communications officer relayed a message to the general who started laughing uncontrollably. When Stone gave him a quizzical look, Hapshield finally calmed down enough to explain.

"That message was from our eaters. Kobayashi was asking to include him if we ever have to go after Godzilla."

"We've got Godzilla?" Stone asked. He was starting to get worried again.

The End

* * *

 **A/N: This was one of those circumstance stories again. I had just gone back to work after polishing off a footlong sub for lunch when the radio played a promo for some local event that was going to have an appearance by Joey Chestnut. I starting thinking about how full I felt and wondering what it would take to make a professional eater feel the same way...**

 **I've never actually watched one of those eating competitions and don't plan on it.**


End file.
